More than Anything
by Sorrelwing
Summary: An Infinity War fix it and one shot. A year after the reversal of the Decimation, after being freed from the soul stone, Gamora struggles to cope with what happened on Vormir, suffering recurring nightmares. Finding the bed empty with Peter having disappeared, she realizes that she is not the only one afraid to fall asleep, and heads off in search of him.


_**So this is just a thing I started writing, as Endgame draws nearer. **__**If anyone has read my other marvel one shots you'll know I love writing nightmare and flashback sequences. This is a little similar to 'Little Miracle', being a very optimistic fix-it, with the theme of revival/recovery and being haunted by the past. I thought I would try a story with the guardians this time, particularly Gamora, and how the events of IW effected them and their struggle to move on. I hope you enjoy it. **_

A group stood atop the cliff on Vormir. It was hard to believe that at one point, they would have been light hearted without a care in the world. That one of them might have smiled, laughed, or made a joke. They may have only lost one of their group, but her loss had broken them, and it was clear to see from their disheveled appearance, the dullness in their eyes. It had been a wicked thing, to be brought back to life, and not want it back, now that it was empty.

"What if it doesn't work?" Drax dared ask the question, heavy weight in his voice.

"Strange believed it would." Rocket glanced over the edge, whiskers drooping. "Might as well give it a shot."

"I am Groot." Mumbled a tearful voice, the walking tree looking at the floor miserably. Mantis glanced at him, went to touch his shoulder, but then shook her head and allowed her hand fall limply back to her side. For once she didn't want to use her powers to ease his misery, not wanting to feel his pain as well as her own. It was too much to bear.

The initial loss of and struggle to restore half the universe had taken it's toll on the two surviving guardians. Rocket's fur was lacklustre, and he stuck to Groot like glue. Nebula's clothes were dirty and torn, her artificial body parts marked by deep scratches from the battle that had finally killed the being who had caused her and the universe so much anguish. Her head bowed, to conceal the tears at the task at hand. The possibility that it may not even work.

Peter would stare at her former chair in the ship, tears in his eyes. Where music would have once been constant in the background, there was now silence. Mantis would only wear the clothes Gamora had given her over the years. Drax and Rocket would sit together by the weapons compartment, staring at the swords that had once belonged to her. Groot would sulk and sometimes cry when he thought nobody could hear him, while Nebula had disappeared completely for a time.

Now that Thanos was dead, there was nothing left for her. With him alive at least she had a goal, but now that her sister was dead, she could only wander, lost, from planet to planet. She spent days just walking through cities and wilderness, in a haze, trying to forget. That was until they'd reached out to her to inform her that maybe there was a way to bring her sister back.

Peter stood at the edge, where Thanos would have done so long ago. He was dishevelled, unshaven, eyes dull, a melting pot of grief, exhaustion and guilt. He turned around, looking at the dark mountain. Was she dragged crying, pleading for her life? When did she realise she was going to die? Did she try to run, try to fight? Did her feet touch the rock he stood on, before she was thrown to her death? His clenched fist shook as he fought back tears, knowing that her heart had beaten for the very last time here.

"I can't live without her." He whispered, and a sombre silence befell the group. Everyone, killed before and after Thanos had snapped his fingers, had been restored one way or another, but Gamora was the last, a very different case. Her soul possibly encased within the last infinity stone, as Steven Strange believed - or hoped. Strange was unsure, but he suggested that returning the stone to Vormir could possibly free her.

Peter threw something over the edge. The orange soul stone, like a tiny flame, plunged toward the ground. Down it tumbled, falling faster. They all watched it fall in silence, as it rapidly approached the place where Gamora's body would have once lain. It disappeared the moment it touched the ground.

Silence. The guardians stared, waiting for something to happen. Nothing did.

"It didn't work." Nebula said, barely audible, and the others stood in a absolute silence, just staring over the edge as Peter began to shake. Nebula's eyes slid shut and she turned around, not intending to let the guardians see her cry. She was about to walk away from Vormir, she would probably never see them again. She took one step and stopped dead in her tracks.

Gamora stood there in the same clothes she had worn on the day of her death, staring back at Nebula. She blinked and looked at her hands, rapidly feeling her arms, hair, face, as though to feel if anything had been broken or damaged. She looked around in terror, head whipping about as she looked at her surroundings, for Thanos. Shock and disbelief flooded her eyes as she finally looked at Nebula, who stared back in shock. She saw Peter and her friends just behind her, clearly in mourning. Her lips shook and her eyes filled with tears.

"Nebula." She whispered, in a small voice. Nebula couldn't utter a word.

Gamora took a few small steps forward, as slow and afraid as someone who had lost their sight. Then Nebula did something completely out of character. She ran to her sister with outstretched arms. Gamora's knees gave out as Nebula caught her before she hit the ground. They both began to weep, for a rare moment in both of their lives, completely surrendering to crying.

"I am Groot!" Groot exclaimed, for he had turned upon hearing Nebula running. His voice was joyous, and it translated into a name. _Gamora. _the others whirled round at his exclamation in shock. There was a collective gasp among the guardians when they saw Gamora, alive, crying over Nebula's shoulder, arms tightly wrapped around her sister.

"Why did you tell him?" Nebula whispered. "I wasn't worth -"

"No," Gamora hugged her tighter, as Peter and the rest of her family came sprinting toward them. "You were worth everything."

_"Why?"_

"Because you're my sister."

* * *

_A year later _

* * *

True, Thanos was dead. The soul stone had been returned to Vormir where nobody would ever find it, and it's secret would die with the guardians. The other infinity stones had been returned to either their original places or safer ones. The universe had been restored, and Gamora's soul set free. But no matter how many crazy missions the guardians went on, or however many new friends they made from Earth, they couldn't forget. The past would never die.

Under the fur throw, Gamora's limbs jerked as, in her dream, she plunged through endless space, screaming like the terrified child Thanos had raised. As she fell faster, gaining momentum, her only hope was the space stone. If he wanted, if he suddenly realized that he loved her too much to lose her, he could seize her in midair and stop her fall. But it never happened. Her hope vanished as the gauntlet hung dimly at his side, as not even her terrified cries moved the pathetic organ he believed to be his heart. He grew smaller and smaller, and just as the ground raced to catch her, she woke with a gasp.

Gamora sat bolt upright. Icy sweat was running down her forehead. Her hair hung about her face, her fingers dug into the fur throw. Her head whipped around, as she frantically looked around the room. It was a bedroom, she confirmed. Not the foot of a cliff. No purple sky. _Not Vormir_. She closed her eyes, quickly brushing away the single tear that had escaped.

_Really? Tears?_ Another flashback washing over her, her upset turned to rage, remembering that a universe of strangers was more important than the little girl Thanos had raised for almost twenty years. She seized a pillow and screamed into it before she threw it violently across the room. _Calm down... It was only a dream..._

Gamora felt for Peter's warmth for comfort, but found nothing. The bed was cold because he wasn't in it. The pillow she had thrown would normally be the one he slept on.

"Gamora?" Said a soft, concerned voice. Gamora looked up through tears to see a pair of dark eyes and antennae peering around the doorway. Mantis stepped into the room, brow crinkled with worry, wearing the oversized shirt she wore to bed. She had always worn the same outfit given to her by Ego all day everyday, and had never heard of pyjamas. As part of Gamora's attempt to be more friendly and welcoming when Mantis had first joined their family, she had given Mantis one of her oversized shirts for her to sleep in. "You are upset."

"I'm fine." She insisted. That was the problem and blessing with having an empath on the team. Anyone who had a bad dream - would wake Mantis up, and she would come knocking to offer her powers to ease their minds or send them back to sleep. It had happened a lot since the decimation was reversed. Mantis seemed to be coping the best.

"So stubborn." Mantis whispered. "Peter woke me up not so long ago as well. He did not wish for me to use my powers. What about you? May I be of comfort?"

"Him too?" Gamora swung her legs out of bed, noticing that the zune was missing. She rose, and padded toward the doorway, trying to stay out of touching distance. "I don't need it."

"At least allow me to fix your hair?" Mantis proposed, for Gamora's hair was a mess. Gamora immediately knew that Mantis had only made the offer so she could use her powers without her knowing. Giving in, Gamora allowed Mantis to rebraid her hair. As Mantis gently smoothed her hair into three parts and began weaving one section over the other, her antennae began to glow. Gamora's troubled mind eased immediately, while Mantis looked troubled to feel her fears. "Thanks, Mantis... I'm just going to drag Peter back to bed."

Her friend shook her head and quickly brushed away a tear, still feeling the effect of Gamora's emotions. She nodded before slipping back to her own room. Gamora moved through the ship, her brief contentment subsiding as Mantis' powers wore off. On the way, she tripped on a root that extended across the floor. "Damnit."

"I am Groot."

"It's okay, Groot - it's dark, I didn't see it -"

"I am Groot?"

"It's alright. Go back to sleep." There was a sleepy reply - not surprisingly, "I am Groot" - before the tree went back to sleep, where he'd drifted off playing his game. Gamora paused to pry it out of his roots for fingers, placing it on the side, before her thoughts returned to bad dreams. Sometimes she was terrified to fall asleep.

The first few months, she had nightmares like those almost every week. On the nights she didn't, Peter and the other guardians did. There were nights where she woke up screaming. The first night it happened, it had been a few weeks after her revival. She had woke up the whole group, screaming, before leaping out of bed and fleeing the ship in terror. The guardians had all set out in the middle of the night to look for her. It had taken almost an hour for them to find her, and eventually Rocket had found her in the roots of a large tree, hugging her knees, sobbing.

It had been a year, and yes, the nightmares grew less, the memories dimming as time and crazier missions and good days grew between the Decimation and now. But part of them all knew that while the scars would fade, they wouldn't heal. The whole team knew that. Like Nebula, Rocket had witnessed the events that had restored the universe, aided its recovery. He would fly the ship and stare vacantly into space, lost in past horrors until Groot broke something and distracted him. It had taken Drax and Mantis time to forgive Peter for his emotional lashing out on Titan. As for Nebula, she had admitted to having night terrors like Gamora did, of their 'father' still being alive and torturing her.

Almost twenty years ago, on those first few months since he took her, she'd woken up screaming for her mother countless nights. The first few times there had been a few comforting words, an attempt to manipulate her trust and love. After he lost patience, there were harsh tones and pain. She would be lectured about weakness and being childish, how she had to be strong and had to grow up. The voices of two innocent children filled her head.

_"Gamora... Please wake up, he'll hear you... "_

_"I'm sorry... I just miss my mother... "_

_"...me too."_

There were a few nights when Nebula heard her whimpering in her sleep, and she had quietly woken her before their 'father' heard, sparing her of his criticism. Sometimes Nebula crawled into her bed to help her sleep more easily. Gamora smiled sadly at the memory of Nebula as a child. A soft, sweet, scared girl. Craving love after her family was murdered, seeking a friend and a sister in a fellow orphan. How quickly that had changed after Thanos cut off her hand, started forcing them to battle one another. If only he had stopped there...

Now, with Thanos dead, Nebula had regained a piece of her soul. Both she and Gamora could rest, knowing that their pasts were buried. But they would have the surgical enhancements - and nightmares - from Thanos for the rest of their days.

She longed to see her sister now, but Nebula, always a loner, wasn't on hand. She'd help them out on a mission or visit occasionally, but besides that, she didn't sleep on the ship with them. Gamora looked at the transmitter, considering contacting her, but decided to do so tomorrow. She had to track Peter down.

Gamora stepped out of the ship, to see two figures laying asleep by the fire that was still burning. Drax and Rocket had drank too much - they all had, and Gamora felt a slight headache from the effects of alcohol. She didn't really drink before. Maybe she was drinking to forget, without success. "Hey." she clapped her hands, and there was drunken muttering. Drax lifted his head slightly, squinting at her. "Which way did Peter go? Were you conscious for that part?"

"Who...?"

"Peter Quill, who you've known for over three years?" But Drax had already fallen back into a drunken sleep, snoring already. Rocket waved in the general direction of the lake before groggily sitting up, reaching to clean his weapon. "Not while you're drunk!" Gamora said, quickly, and Rocket slumped his head on his paw. She sighed and turned to walk in the direction Rocket had gestured.

Gamora found him after a minute walk through the trees. Peter stood there, attempting to skip rocks on the lake, not hearing her. She noticed how a lot of the attempts failed - the rocks hit the water and sank immediately. He was distracted, and Mantis had told her why. Maybe she should have spared him the details of her demise, but everything had tumbled out when they'd been reunited.

"Peter." She called. He turned to face her, and there it was undeniable why he wasn't in bed. His eyes were still red from tears, expression vacant and haunted. "What kind?" She murmured, not needing to ask for confirmation. This had happened so many times and it was now a drill.

"Usually it's just one thing. But tonight it was all of it. Everyone I've lost. My mother, Yondu... you... And he was there, everywhere I looked... there was no escape." Peter was tormented by various images on a monthly basis. If it wasn't a vision of Gamora being killed by his own gun in the flaming wreckage of Knowhere, it was her broken body at the foot of a cliff. Ashes fell constantly in the background like snow, of Drax and Mantis and Groot. The Titan's face loomed throughout it all, towering above and engulfing the whole sequence in shadow.

Gamora closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around him. Peter accepted the hug, holding her tightly with his face buried into her shoulder. She allowed him to cry, whispering words of comfort.

"I'm here." She murmured.

Her death and subsequent resurrection had made Gamora more appreciative of everyday. She was more affectionate to Peter. She was kinder to the team and she was more of a sister to Nebula than ever. As for Peter, he was wiser, he was better at retaining a cool head. But he was still her idiot, and he was so sensitive.

"I'm fine, I'll be fine..." Peter pulled away, blinking rapidly and drawing his sleeve across his eyes. Knowing his wasn't, Gamora's fingers intertwined with his, gently squeezing his hands. Peter looked at her, reassuring himself that she was here in front of him.

"He's gone." Gamora murmured. Peter's eyes flooded with pain as he cast his eyes down, staring at their joined hands. Nobody felt comfortable saying his name out loud anymore. It drastically altered the mood and brought back horrific memories, so no one dared utter it. "He was destroyed by the stones. He's dead and he's never coming back."

"I know... I still dream about it, though." Peter still didn't meet her eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't..."

"Pull the trigger? But you did, and I'm grateful. But maybe it was better that way, because you hesitated... If you'd done it sooner, I wouldn't be here."

"But... when he took you to Vormir. What he did. Did you know you were trapped?"

"It was... instant. Quicker than falling asleep. Being trapped in the stone was... strange. I don't really remember it, but all I seem to remember is being lonely. But then you all brought me back. He can't control me anymore. I have my family, and I'll never be lonely again. You set me free."

Gamora turned his face toward hers, placing a kiss first on his cheek, before finding his lips. Peter's lips softened, eyes slipping shut. She cradled his face in both hands, and for a moment they stood there, holding one another. Gamora released him, seeing that the pain was gone from his eyes.

"I love you so much." Peter murmured.

"I love you too." She tugged at his hand. "It's cold and we're standing out here in pyjamas and bare feet. Come back to bed?" Peter's mouth crooked into a smile at last at her suggestion, and they started walking away from the lake towards the ship.

"I forgot to tell you. Tinman sent us an invite to his and Pepper's wedding earlier over the channel, and Nebula's invited too. We'll shoot her a message, get her coordinates and change course for Earth."

"I'll let her know. It would be nice to see an Earth wedding..." Gamora then had a thought, smirking. "Maybe you and Thor can have a dance off this time." She grinned at the look of dread on his face. "Don't worry, I'll be looking at you... some of the time."

"What do you mean, _some_ of the time?" Peter asked, playfully, as Gamora smiled and pulled him toward the ship. Yes, they all had bad dreams, the memories would never really be forgotten. But the guardians had each other. They were family, and that was the most important thing of all.


End file.
